What can I say? I'm a work in progress.
Let me get something off my chest.
I’m just your average, artsy-fartsy, skeptical, college drop-out, hopeless romantic, looking for a perfect existence in a land of misunderstandings. (What can I say? I’m a work in progress.) I tend to provoke debates. Its just the way I am. I’m very passionate about certain topics. I like learning and playing devil’s advocate to get at people’s true passions. What I don’t like though, is holding a grudge. I really can’t stand anything worse than holding a grudge. I’ll admit… I’m not perfect, and I still do it from time to time. But I don’t like to do it and I don’t like to think someone is holding a grudge on me. It bothers me to no end.
If someone tries to abruptly end a heated debate/argument for whatever reasons, chances are, I will try to patch up any possible grudges in that situation as quickly as possible. I’m not trying to “make a point” or “get a reaction” or “get the last word” or any other type of foolishness. I’m probably just trying to make sure no one stays angry inside. Holding a grudge and being angry at someone inside is horrible. I can’t stand being like that. You don’t want to let it out after the fact, but you can’t get rid of it either. It just comes back to haunt every little thing from that moment on.
Along the same lines, very few things bother me more than someone assuming that they know what I’m thinking. Chances are, they don’t. I’m a very inside person. I tend to be subtle in my public expressions of emotion. I also tend to have a lot of things on my mind. Especially as of late. I’ve got a computer that’s bugging out on me. I’ve got massive debt and people trying to collect it from me every day. My car is slowly falling apart. I’m considering going back to school. I have a pseudo-stepson who’s now living much farther away. (see car trouble) I have problems that constanly creep into my mind that have barely anthing to do with the topic at hand all the time. If you want to really know what I’m thinking… ask. There’s no more sure-fire way to get the truth. I generally don’t lie. I’m not fond of that either. I’m also a fairly open person. I’ll discuss just about anything. Good or bad. If I’m unsure what someone means or where someone stands on an issue, I’ll generally just ask. I’m not trying to pry or smother or be needy. I’m just trying to clarify something and get the final concensus.
What does all this mean? … I’m not entirely sure. Things have gone awry lately in areas of my life that have always confused me. People that don’t talk about things and keep them inside until they burst. People misunderstanding each other. All of this leads to somewhere, I’m sure. whether or not I’ll like the full extent of the landing is another question alltogether.
All in all, I think I’m a pretty simple person. There’s a lot of complexity there, to be sure… but I’ve tried my best to smooth it all out and round off the corners. Its very easy to understand me. Just ask.
I recently created a simple wallpaper for my work computer proclaiming my skepticism. I thought I would share the image with everyone. So here it is in 3 screen sizes.
